


Desolation, Ash, and Memories

by SerStolas



Series: Alik Shepard [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Childhood Memories, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 13:36:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8626486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerStolas/pseuds/SerStolas
Summary: Kaidan and Alik Shepard return to Mindoir for Alik to visit his childhood home and remember what happened when his family was taken from him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Every Sunrise, Ever After  
> A Mass Effect Fan Fic  
> Pairing: Kaidan Alenko/MShep  
> Post ME3, Destroy Ending  
> Disclaimer: Bioware owns Mass Effect. I'm just playing with their shiny toys. Fic inspired by and lyrics taken from "I See Fire" by Ed Sheeran, song copyright Ed Sheeran

Auburn on the Mountain Side  
A Mass Effect Fan Fic  
Pairing: Kaidan Alenko/MShep  
Colonist/War Hero Shepard. Post ME3, Destroy Ending  
Disclaimer: Bioware owns Mass Effect. I'm just playing with their shiny toys. Fic inspired by “I See Fire” by Ed Sheeran. Lyrics copyright Ed Sheeran

 

 

Two men disembarked the shuttle and stood in the space port, watching the general bustle as the crowd hurried from one place to another. There were mostly humans, but they saw some Asari, Turians, and even a Quarian in the mix.

 

One thing they didn’t see, blessedly so, was any Batarians. While the Mindoir native had learned over the past many years that not all Batarians were bad, this trip was difficult enough without seeing any here now. He took a deep, shuttering breath, gray eyes scanning the space port as his husband’s arm tightened around his shoulder.

 

“We don’t have to do this, Alik,” Kaidan told him for the hundredth time.

 

Alik Shepard-Alenko shook his head. “No, Kaidan, I do..I have to put this part of my past to rest, one final time.”

 

Kaidan’s brown eyes were colored with concern, but he finally nodded and picked up their duffle bags. “Let’s go then. Agent said that ground transport should be available just beyond the shuttle port.”

 

Alik nodded, not arguing with Kaidan when the older biotic picked up both their bags. He leaned a bit more heavily on his cane and limped after his husband.

 

At one time Alik Shepard- Alenko had sworn he would never return to Mindoir. There were too many memories here of a life forever denied him, and a family stolen from him by Batarian slavers, but over the past two years since the Reaper War, he had been slowly going through memories of his life, putting parts of the past to rest so he could focus on his future with Kaidan.

 

It hadn’t been difficult to convince the brass to grant Kaidan leave hadn’t been that difficult, particularly when Alik was still the Alliance’s darling for stopping the Reapers. After his extensive injuries from the final push to the Crucible, and falling from the Citadel though, Alik and his doctors knew he would never be able to command a field team again, and he’d gotten an honorable medical discharge from the service.

 

He lived aboard the Normandy now; the ship now under Kaidan’s command. It felt strange, being on the ship but not serving any under official capacity. The Counsel hadn’t revoked or removed his Spectre status, however, so there were occasions that he worked with Kaidan on Counsel sensitive missions, though usually in a non-combatant role.

 

As they stepped out of the space port and into fresh air, Alik was hit with a thousand memories. Mindoir was a farming colony, and most of their exports came in the way of plant based materials and foodstuffs. He could catch the under scent of green in the air that he’d always associated with growing things, or crops freshly harvested. He saw citizens of Mindoir, some of them clearly just in from the farm, hovering near shipments of footstuffs heading off planet as Mindoir now produced far more than they would consume on their own.

 

He forced himself to keep walking, catching up with Kaidan as his husband had crossed to a kiosk promising rental vehicles. He glanced around, letting Kaidan handle the transaction as he took in the life all around him. Mindoir had been rebuilt, but it wasn’t the same, it would never be the same. All of this was newer, sleeker designs than he remembered from his childhood and the occasional trip to the space port.

 

At least, he thought, it lacked the desperation he had seen in some places. Mindoir had found a way to thrive in the almost twenty years since it had been hit by the Batarians. But that was what humans did, they rebuilt, it was how their race had survived for so long on earth, and now in the colonies.

 

The port town wasn’t as large as he might have expected, but perhaps he’d gotten too used to the Citadel and some of the larger cities on earth. Somewhere off in the distance he swore he could see the town square, and a statue of…someone.

 

Oh good god, he thought, don’t let that be a statue of me.

 

He rubbed at the scars that crisscrossed his face. He’d let his hair grow longer and it was pulled back at the nape of his neck, far unlike the buzz cut he’d worn in the military. He hoped no one recognized him. Suddenly coming here seemed like a foolish idea, but he had to know what had become of his family’s farmstead.

 

Kaidan glanced at him then, catching a hint of panic in Alik’s eyes and tugged him over to him, a reassuring hand on Alik’s shoulder calmed the old soldier. The woman in the kiosk gave them a brief, curious look, but said nothing.

 

Finally, almost half an hour later, they were in possession of a vehicle that reminded Alik suspiciously of a Mako, only some weird civilian version. With the rough terrain in some of parts of Mindoir, though, he supposed it made sense. Kaidan firmly took the keys, refusing to even consider letting Alik drive.

 

It had taken Alik months to find the exact coordinates of his family’s old farmstead, but eventually Liara helped him track it down. Kaidan glanced over at Alik as he programed the coordinates into the vehicle’s navigation system, nothing Alik’s tense posture. He reached out and squeezed Alik’s hand comfortingly. He couldn’t take his husband’s anxiety and pain away, but he could be here to give him comfort and support.

 

Alik was silent on the ride out of the port town, his eyes fixed on the scenery outside the vehicle. Kaidan could see Alik gripping his cane tightly with one hand, no doubt reliving memories of this place.

 

_“Dad, dad, think we can get fruit today at market?” Alik Shepard asked as he perched with his younger brother in the back of the truck carrying a load of root vegetables._

_Ivan Shepard chuckled softly at his sons’ antics and watched them through the rearview mirror. “We should be able to trade for some,” he said. At least one of the other farmers would have berries, and with beets and onions being a staple of many diets, they could easily trade for berries. The Shepard family would enjoy a treat tonight._

_“Yay!” Petre Shepard cried, bouncing beside his brother in the back of the trunk. “Thank you Daddy!”_

_“Yeah, that’s Dad!” Alik added._

“Shepard?” Kaidan asked softly.

 

“Yeah Kaidan, just remembering,” Alik replied, keeping his eyes on the farms they drove past. In the distance Kaidan could see the ground rising and the mountains growing closer. When Shepard had told him he’d been a farmer’s son, Kaidan had always assumed Shepard had grown up on a far surrounded by flat fields. He’d been surprised to discover that the Shepard farmstead had been in higher elevations, growing mainly hardy root vegetables, which allowed for some of the more delicate plants to be grown at lower elevations.

 

They drove for nearly two hours, the fields giving way to rocky soil and the occasional farmstead dug into the side of the mountain. Odd, Kaidan thought. He would think that those on farms in lower elevations would have been easier targets for the slavers when Mindoir had been attacked.

 

Finally, they reached their destination. A swath of land, overgrown with mountain shrubs now, lay in front of them. Kaidan thought he saw some rocky form further in the distance, the remains of a home originally dug into the mountains.

 

Alik sat in the vehicle for several minutes before he climbed out, using his cane to limp towards the rubble that Kaidan had noticed. Kaiden followed close behind, watching his husband carefully.

 

How long Alik stood there, he would never be able to say, and Kaidan never put an amount of time to it. After a long silence, Alik began speaking, so softly that at first Kaidan wasn’t sure if he was saying anything at all.

 

“It was in the middle of the night…just after our last harvest and colder weather was setting in. I remember it was snowing,” Alik murmured. “Petre had a cold and had woken me up instead of Mama and Papa. I went into the kitchen to make him some tea to help. We heard a shrieking noise outside, like a motor gone bad. Suddenly Mama ran into the kitchen in her robe and work boots, pistol in her hand. She told us to hide, that something was coming. She shoved me through the crawlspace door and shut it..I remember hearing her tell my brother to hide in the attic.”

 

Kaidan reached out and put a hand on his shoulder as Alik shuttered, but then he began speaking again.

 

“I remember the sound of breaking glass and wood as they broke into the house, the sound of Mama firing the shot gun, four…no five times, then the sound of them hitting her. She cursed at them, then she felt silent…they threatened her, they threatened to tear her apart like they’d done my Papa. She stopped speaking then. She only screamed once, near the end. I could hear them moving around inside, the sound of Petre screaming when they found him, then silence. I tried to open the crawlspace door but she must have blocked it with something. I couldn’t get out. I heard more crashing then felt heat…they lit the house on fire, and I was trapped in that blasted crawlspace.”

 

“So I went backwards. I knew there was an exit somewhere to the outside. I crawled through it, under the house, until I found the little door that came out beyond the house, dug down into the rock of the mountain. When I staggered out, everything was burning. I could see the house completely engulfed, and there was smoke coming from neighboring farmsteads too. They’d burned everything…just Fire….I see fire.”

 

Alik dropped his head against his chest, body shaking with suppressed sobs and Kaidan pulled him into his arms. He felt Alik shift his head into his neck, felt the wetness of Alik’s tears on his neck.

 

After several minutes Alik stopped crying, but he kept his head buried in Kaidan’s neck. He whispered against Kaidan’s skin.

 

“There’s an old earth song I heard once, in some vid about a crazy hobbit or something trying to kill a dragon. There was a city that got destroyed.  It always reminded me of..”

 

Kaidan felt Alik sigh, and then heard Alik’s voice softly against his shoulder.

 

_“Oh, misty eye of the mountain below_   
_Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls_   
_And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke_   
_Keep watching over Durin's son_

_If this is to end in fire_   
_Then we should all burn together_   
_Watch the flames climb high into the night_   
_Calling out father, oh, stand by and we will_   
_Watch the flames burn auburn on_   
_The mountain side_

_And if we should die tonight_   
_Then we should all die together_   
_Raise a glass of wine for the last time_   
_Calling out father, oh_   
_Prepare as we will_   
_Watch the flames burn auburn over_   
_The mountain side_

_Desolation comes upon the sky_

_Now I see fire_   
_Inside the mountain_   
_I see fire_   
_Burning the trees_   
_And I see fire_   
_Hollowing souls_   
_I see fire_   
_Blood in the breeze_   
_And I hope that you remember me_

_Oh, should my people fall in_   
_Surely I'll do the same_   
_Confined in mountain halls_   
_We got too close to the flame_   
_Calling out father_   
_Hold fast and we will_   
_Watch the flames burn auburn on_   
_The mountain side_

_Desolation comes upon the sky_

_Now I see fire_   
_Inside the mountain_   
_I see fire_   
_Burning the trees_   
_And I see fire_   
_Hollowing souls_   
_And I see fire_   
_Blood in the breeze_   
_And I hope that you remember me_

_And if the night is burning_   
_I will cover my eyes_   
_For if the dark returns then_   
_My brothers will die_   
_And as the sky is falling down_   
_It crashed into this lonely town_   
_And with that shadow upon the ground_   
_I hear my people screaming out_

_Now I see fire_   
_Inside the mountain_   
_I see fire_   
_Burning the trees_   
_And I see fire_   
_Hollowing souls_   
_And I see fire_   
_Blood in the breeze_

_I see fire (Oh you know I saw a city burning) (fire)_   
_And I see fire (Feel the heat upon my skin, yeah) (fire)_   
_And I see fire (Uh-uh-uh-uh) (fire)_   
_And I see fire burn auburn on the mountain side”_

 

“Desolation comes upon the sky,” he whispered softly after the last notes died away. “It always came from the sky, so that’s where I went, so no one would ever have to feel what I did that night, again.”

Slowly, he lifted his head and stared into Kaidan’s brown eyes with his own gray. “Thank you, Kaidan,” he whispered softly. “I don’t know where I would be without you.”

“You’ll never find out,” Kaidan promised. “Through fire, flame, and anything else. I will be here. Your family would be proud of you, Alik Shepard-Alenko.”

“I can only hope so,” Alik replied. He sighed and glanced back towards the remains of the farmstead. “I can remember them, at least…maybe if they are remembered, they are never truly gone.”


End file.
